Our behaviour is a result of our thinking. Put another way our behaviour is an external manifestation of our internal processing, we exhibit on the outside what we are thinking. We all have learned behaviours, patterns and rituals that we repeat day after day. Behaviour that serves us well and acts in our favour is great, but behaviour that results in discord, anxiety or distress is not serving us well. If you heave learned behaviours that are not serving you well you can change them. As an Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Trainer and Master Practitioner I know that a learned behaviour can be unlearned, and a more resourceful behaviour learned. The ability to adapt our behaviour in any given situation and choose our response is called behavioural flexibility.
When I work with individuals and organisations on ‘change programmes’ I focus on changing thinking to change behaviour. I use behavioural flexibility to meet each individual in their view of the world, flexing my approach and communication. Ask yourself is your behaviour serving you well, do you have behavioural flexibility?. Are you achieving what you want in your professional life or are your actions and deeds holding you back?
Being assertive may be perceived by some organisations to be a valuable business trait. However, blurting out an insensitive and inappropriate response to a distressed and emotional direct report will not achieve the desired response. Equally a quiet, retiring person may find their inability to find their voice debilitating both professionally and socially. They lack confidence and become lonely and distressed because they can’t make friends and aren’t confident enough to input to conversations and break into new social circles. Behavioural flexibility means that we are able to flex our behaviour to adapt to the situation. So the assertive boss knows when to flex their muscles and when to tone it down. The shy retiring person learns how to make friends and take a controlled risk that someone wants to listen to what they have to say.
In any given situation the person with the greatest behavioural flexibility will get the best response. If you want to grow your business or advance your career behavioural flexibility is key to success. If you want to learn more behavioural flexibility you can. I know that any learned behaviour can unlearned. You may not know how to make these changes but they are perfectly possible. If you would like to know more look at my NLP Coaching or give me a call to discuss your particular needs and take it from there.